Just Some Thoughts...

"Wow, why is my life so crazy?" I look in odd amazement as I stumble through another fascinating door of life's crazy details in which many and more people find the love in me the same as I do the dependability in them which re-develops back into love on a disguised scale that they don't understand and protects them until later when they have a greater ability from watching me in the same odd amazement as I do them. I mix up a few more details by stirring up a few fun situations which basically just boil down to having fun with people, spending time with them and becoming a part of their life. I might right a current boyfriend a poem, send a few friends on a scattegorized search of knowledge with a stretch of a few lenthy details to understand. A bit of happiness by the cheeriness of just being a kid for a while and some sweet love. What they say: " What the world needs now is love sweet love..." Innocent, kind, sweet and gracious love is the best. Must I say, "Wow,..how easy it is for much of us to confuse the story of one kind of love for another." Love for one another and trust stands for the sole basis of any relationship first and once the many misguided details are understood through many situations fixed then the soulmate comes later. Yet, before that let us all remember how to be kids. I just can't help but to think about the constant memories I have with the people that I'm growing up around that I love most. It was just a couple days ago that I took a walk with a man that was once already in my life that I loved and used to work with as my manager just as much as the first that wanted to marry me in which I passed off to another loving friend of mind once again exchanging one harsh reality of love for the world and difficult circumstances into love oversought of a couple of individuals and the three-fold cord of a loving bind of a Godly arrangement which for both of them turned out to be the dream and plan of marriage later on only to protect the both of them and especially the sweet, Jesus-like prince for my friend that would fix to mend the horrible past situations of her life. Just before that a couple of weeks ago a whole crowd of guys and men after me all at once and hardly any way to resist except for my casual stubborn-headedness and pursued life to continue the change of the world for God as I hope to let each and every one of them know I held out only to have a heart big enough to not forget even my best of buds and love them so much more even if it meant love to play all the guys I knew at the college one week to prevent them from making their worst mistake and setting an example all over again with this sweet prince-like man I've been waiting to meet again. Even if it meant the oddity of a situation to show a man what the true love meant that he was looking for in his life and to only send him off again to find the right one in a proper circumstance to not settle for less but the greater even meant the "truest" disguise of the greater love that represents God." From anywhere to avoiding 50 guys in a week, to a whole group full of people dirtily so teasingly mean to plot against me to see how smart I am to only outsmart them again by abusing myself to show a greater love for the overall crowd as I continually search to find the prince that I can marry myself off to eventually that will find and understand the importance of my needs as well as a woman and the overall fixational glance towards the oversight of the faith and fine works in which in a covenant if I do marry and they agree on I would doubly reward them for their acquisitional heart. If only, I wish they could just understand the most beautiful things that occur even out of the negative things in my life because I'm so encouraged to set an example for the rest of them, to show them the real-true knowledge I understand and to acquire to develop something so good that it seems fictational for them as well. Dreams can come true and I am sure many others know as well. They can with a little hard work and effort! Without ever giving up we are capable of so much joy and happiness around us as we train our minds to be fixated upon the positive things around us that grow to a better state when encouraged. This time I hope all reach for the peaceable state. We are capable of so much more with the understanding of love, knowledge and endurance. There was a time I walked feeling so lonely and alone because I was the only one that understood or sought to. Now I have a greater understanding that we never have to be blind toward the things in our live and that we have the ability to do much about them! Sometimes constant thoughts wonder through my head as I ponder which to think upon first as I sit and ponder I hope to see and relive all of my best moments even through hopefully my own children or the children I adopt or have adopted as my own one day as well as the fine adults who have done so with me. What a great lesson there is in love. I think about not only my guys and men but also my girls my family members, the people who have passed and the people and the new generation to come. All I know is it leaves me with a lot of random beautiful thoughts, a work to be so fully posessed in and a happiness so sheerly bright and a hope that it spreads to everyone. I keep wondering and thinking when will I see Josh again? I wonder what Steven and Steven are up to and Steven's brother. And does Steven get the chance to have fun spending time with John and Kassi? I wonder how Zacky and Bear and Nate are doing and Brandon and Callie, Ricky, My aunts and uncles, the best buds and friends teachers and staff along with coaches at the Union High School, my best girls or guys down in St. Louis, Pacific, Arnold, Wisconsin, Montanta, Chillicothe, Lebanon or Kansas City? What about Rick,Matt,Natasha,Michael, Megan, Caitlyn, Amber, Chris, Wallie, Amy, Jeremy, Angie, Morgan and so many of the other friends and school mates doing? How is my family doing? Is there any possible way i don't have to screw up in my life so that I can work with them all to acquire all their good hearts and have them to teach at once?I wonder about my aunts and uncles or my cousins I miss so much or the untold story of my uncle Kenneth who killed himself or friend Justin Sutterer that died. How I have such a hope to see my dear old grandpa Merlin Schwentker again and that I get that since I proved this knowledge and been found trustworthy that it's real and God showed me that he was relying on me to spread the knowledge and carry out his work through the messenger of one of his angels. How I'm so amazed at the demonistic spirits just as well that have harassed people to cause them to fall to the negativity of the ailments they cause in their everyday life as well. How I wonder and wonder about the people that I secretly claim in my heart as my own as I go on a long journey and quest to always set my best example and teach as I become my own mother, many others through practice and just a teaching aid to learn more as well and a benefactor to all those friends of mine too. If only I hope and pray that they wouldn't forget who gave them life-gaining knowledge as through the many out of respect that I will not forget too. And what about Grandma Schweke, Grilamma and Birtie that are all just so sweet and my Grandpa and the wise men in my life as well. How do I remember to glorify my mother and father and make them look good as long as they remember to provide, love and care for me as well?... What about Kelsey and Kylie tonight and riding on the pink skooter with Kylie and almost getting ditched and dumped as we ran off the curve or the onery girl just about ran me through cars just to get a funny reaction out of me because of her own innocent curiousity as Grandma Birtie and Kelsey laughed as by a child I was so close to being out-witted and out-smarted because of the daring lil girl she was who was grounded but decided to have fun and would secretly sneak to have fun with her friends because they loved each other so and the innocence of the young children as they laughed and played in a field with a soccer ball or when Kylie decided to give me a makeover as Kelsey laughed and I played dress-up in the pre-teen clothes that we giggled at in which made me look like a hooker. Or when tonight when I came home and thought of God again as I got a book on constellations out of my room from the college library as I gazed at all of them in wonder of how God called them all by name. Or what about the time when last night I was slightly discouraged when coming home and missed Josh and I decided that no matter what happened I would still always have Jehovah, Jesus and the 144,000 as I so daringly ran out in the showers of rain in the midst of another fulfillment and fell and laughed and felt like a kid again and ran towards the swing as I swung and empowered myself to swing so high I hoped I would shoot right into the heavens and become God's angel to work in his government and alongside Jesus at the right hand of God and with the army of Angels overseeing greater fulfillment of the faith and fine works. If I could have only spread my wings to fly as I'd hope I would eventually do because I felt so free by what I finally understood and knew. If only they could catch me but first with my agreement in the fact the understood the importance of what I need and have to accomplish. Gazing at the stars, running in the rain, walking hand in hand with the man that I considered to be so princely and even spending time with the man that wanted me to so sweetly travel the world with him. My eyes are opened once again as well as theirs as we are relivened to see what beauty there actually is inthe world if we never cease to look for it.